1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
