Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
