Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
