I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
