Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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