Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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