party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
