But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
