It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
