I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
