she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
