if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
