Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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