Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
