Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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