i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
