He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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