brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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