Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
