See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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