if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize