I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
