My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
