Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
