my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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