just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
