Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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