why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cut my penus on the lid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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