What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
