At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
