you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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