just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
