so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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