seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
