I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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