called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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