you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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