something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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