Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He felt like a one man threesome
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
