I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
