If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
