Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
