did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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