We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize