HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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