It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
