dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
