i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
