they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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