So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
