She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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