What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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