I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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