Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
