Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
