Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize