i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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